My stomach feels a little sick. This story is meant for one very specific person. I am afraid to tell them because it could mean rejection for me. I hate rejection.
I feel a little light headed...don't know why. It's not a story about me, its a story that Jesus gave me. Months ago. In a dream. I wish I could paint...I would paint a picture that would make millions, millions of disciples. A Simple picture with one small physical movement, small to those that look on, huge to those that it happens to.
My Dream Picture looks a little something like this.
Zoom in on picture, the colors are vivid, whimsical, there are clouds, lots of clouds. Clouds of colors like blue, yellow, orange, pink, not a whole lot of sky, just clouds. Look to the left in the art piece. There is a man, jeans that are cuffed, they are dark in color. Hoodie, probably new, unzipped, Chuck Taylor shoes, probably comes from the fact that my boys all wear them. Sounds like a normal, everyday kid until you stop to really look at his shirt. Normal, white tee shirt, maybe Hanes, simple, probably new too. But there in the dead center is a heart, not your heart shaped heart, the actual heart. The one that is the seat of the emotions, joy, pain, love, loneliness, fear, skepticism, desires, dreams. It beats, this one, it hurts. The boys face is a look of surprise. Wondering, why me? His mouth is in the shape of Awe and his eyes are wide. His chest is pulled more forward than the rest of his body and his feet are being lifted off the ground.
I feel my body heat rising because the anxiety of rejection is looming.
Now look to the right of this picture. It's a larger than life figure. He is hard to describe. I see whimsy, lots of reds and yellows. If you look into the eyes of said figure, you would see determination, with a lot of love, gentleness, warmth, care. Look deeper into his eyes, His determination is overwhelming. It has been there for ages. Finally coming to fruition in this time.
Zoom out full picture...the Truth. You see it all come together. The story and picture finally start to make sense. This Huge figure is reaching with his gentle, steady hands. His fingers intertwine, they are laced together, no force can undo them. As the boy looks down he sees these hands of care are weaving in and out of his heart. This figure is Jesus, God, My Father. The boys amazement is rooted in the fact that Jesus' determination was for his heart, and his heart alone. Nothing else matters. Whatever was broken, is now restored. Whatever was lonely is now comforted. Whatever was lost, is now found.
I feel a small tremble inside my fingers as I type. I can't keep it to myself anymore. What Jesus has laid on my heart is now shared, after months of being quiet. Not being quiet because I want to disobey, just waiting and praying for the right way to share.
This dream was given to me for one specific person, that doesn't mean it can't apply to you. If you see yourself in this picture, don't be afraid to seek out God's determination for your own heart.
Numbers 6:24-26
24 " ' "The LORD bless you
and keep you;
25 the LORD make his face shine upon you
and be gracious to you;
26 the LORD turn his face toward you
and give you peace." '
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